Our Beloved Celebrities

Here's my version of  the Grammy's.
An award for the celebrity with the best of the asset.

BEST HAIR

ZOOEY DESCHANEL

Oh Zooey, how I love you. I would go lesbian for you any day. Any day.

BEST BOOBS

KATY PERRY

The boobs are au naturale, not to mention, you have an awesome name *cough cough*

BEST UGLY CLOTHES

LADY GAGA

I am hear the kids in third-world countries crying for all that wasted meat.

BEST EYES

TYRA BANKS

 

This girl is so fierce it's starting to look creepy.

BEST BODY 

ZAC EFRON

And...

ROB EVANS (AKA TYRA BANK'S NEW BEAU)

*drools*

 BEST PLAYER

TAYLOR SWIFT

Here's a quick list of all the BFs and hookups she had since she came into the  spotlight, which, let's face it wasn't that long ago. And yes, I'm am jealous for her ability to pick up guys so easily. *

1. Ed Sheeran (Ikr!? WTF)

2. Tom Odell (hun...who's that?)

3. Harry Styles (ehh)

4. Conor Kennedy (Robert Kennedy Jr's son)

5. Jake Gyllenhal (yea honey, he's ten years older than you)

6. Zac Efron (OH FUCK NO THATS MY HUSBAND)

7. John Mayer ("youuur body is a wonderlaaaand, use my hands")

8. Taylor Lautner (he's so freaking tan and hot but all I think of him as Shark Boy...)

9. Lucas Till (X-Men star!)

10. Joe Jonas (yeaaa, never was into him or his brothers)

11. Cory Monteith

12. Chord Overstreet

13. Toby Hemingway

14. Eddie Redmayne

15. Garrett Hedlund

*list not in chronological order

Kate Zoe Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Music of the Month: Indie Groove

This is the first of "My Top Five Playlist" articles in which I'll dedicate to my all time favorite genre of music:

INDIE.

Yup. Indie, that hippie groovin' beat poppin' underground music.
This is the genre that the "Real" cool kids listen to, not the shitty American Top 40 camel dung.
With the classy hipster style and the obscure mellow artists, indie deserves the title as the genre to my first "My Top Five Playlist" mix. enjoy.

1. So Many Details by Toro y Moi

 

2.  The Fall by Rhye

3. Big Jet Plane by Angus and Julia Stone

4. Counting by Autre Ne Veut

5. Baby by Devendra Banhart

 

Kate Zoe Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

What I Hate: #2 People Who Hate On Homosexual People

Fact Check.
Homosexuality is not a "modern" idea. It was not invented in our generation. In fact, scenes of homosexual lesbian intercourse were often depicted in ancient Greek pottery.

    

Nonetheless to say, it was almost socially accepted in many societies of Melanesia, especially Papua New Guinea, that young prepubertal boys were to be mentored by an older adolescent. They would engage in sexual activity and homosexuality was celebrated. On the contrary, heterosexuality was viewed as sinful.

Besides the weird history background info and the slightly disturbing array of pictures I posted, my main point is that sexuality was ingrained in us all before society had any influence at all.

Society argues that so many young people are now becoming gay, lesbian, or bi because everyone's starting to approve of it. It's not a bandwagon thing, "Hey guys! What should we do today? Oh, yea let's have gay sex!"
It's not the same thing as drugs; we don't get pressured into anything.

What may be the real cause for the rise in numbers of homosexuals is that people are finally coming out because they feel accepted.
I remember my trip to the LBTG town in San Francisco where the iridescent colors of rippling flags waved and people of all sexual orientation and ethnics lived together in harmony and happiness. 
A wonderful thing.

You might be refuting me by saying that society did have an impact on those South Pacific, tribe kids of Melanesia, when the elders told them it was socially acceptable for them to buttfuck other boys. Yes. That is true; they were told that they could and should buttfuck other boys.

But let me ask you something, does nature tell and influence each other to have LBTG sex?

"No" you say.

There exists homosexual animals too. YUP.
                                               
                                                             
   These two adorably, fluffy male penguin chicks grew up to become a couple. Roy and Silo were residents of the New York Central Zoo. They were given an egg to which they cared for and hatched together. Father and Father <3

 So it just proves that the only cause of homosexuality is love.

Penguins mate for life; many animals keep marriages longer than humans.


Another fact check.
I'm not gay.
I'm a fully straight, Kinsey Scale, top notch, number 6 straight girl. But I do approve of homosexuality.

Why you ask?

#1 Because I'm not a fucking dickshit.

#2 I'll explain to you in depth.

I know I get pissed off by a lot of things (which is reasonable, considering society is so untanginably horrendous)
but this is one that really ticks me the wrong way.

Why some people believe they have the right to decide about someone else's marriage and love life is beyond my knowledge.
No one gives a monkey's red buttcheeks to whether you disapprove of their love or not. You vote to keep a person away from the one they love. What kind of heartless mole rat are you??

This example will explain it some what better.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce

Society: Well sure why not?

Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didnt know what the hell I was doing

Society: Whatever you want!

Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were so drunk lolololololololololololol

Society: Okay, sounds like fun!

Gay couple: We would like to get married in a church with our family members and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -

Society: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Here's an excerpt from an online book called "Haters Gonna Hate" by Parogar
It describes my feelings toward opposers exactly but written more magnificiently than I could ever.

"I have seen so many arguments in favor of gay's rights, but I now think I have one that can best them all. Gays and straights alike have tirelessly worked to prove through science, history, and any number of rational and logical deductions that society needs to be accepting them.

Scientists argue it's genetic, politicians argue it's about equality, others argue it's about happiness, and there's a trillion other things that can be thrown into the mix. I'm here to say forget ALL of that. Seriously, throw it away. 

So what's my proposal? Well, here it goes; if you're gay, then try doing this the next time someone feels that their opinion on this issue 'counts' when they ask, "Why should I allow you to marry the person you want?"

Don't cite studies; don't cite laws, history, or anything of the sort. Instead, cite my proposal and end the argument where it begins. So some inbred zealot wants to know why you should be allowed to marry? That's the easist question in the world to answer!

Look them in the eye, and say, "Why should I be allowed? Umm... because ... MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, that's why. This is my life, my rules. Go die in a fire."

Oh and for those of you out there who think you actually have the right to tell other people what they can or can't do, I ask you to follow this easy two-step process to determining whether or not you're an uncompassionate asshole.

Step 1: Is the thing you want to put an end to harming anyone? If no, go to Step 2.

Step 2: Is the thing that you want to put an end to allowing people to live fullfilling lives without infringing on the rights of others? If yes, then congratulations, you're an uncompassionate asshole."


Aw, man that was beautiful.

One last thing before this post officially comes to an end.

When one of my best guy friends came up to me and announced that he was homosexual, I fully supported him. He's a great person, confident, smart, and reliable. If someone like that doesn't deserve happiness then most of the fucked straight people on Earth sure as hell don't.

Long Live Liberty, Freedom, and Justice!

Kate Zoe Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

The Famous "BILLBOARDS THAT DONT BELONG NEXT TO EACH OTHER"

So I was surfing the net, yah know the usual, typical teenage loner activity, and I came across this post on smosh.com about

BILLBOARDS THAT SHOULD NEVER BE NEXT TO EACH OTHER

Most hilarious shit ever. here are some of them, figure them out.





















Quote one of the commentors, "Holy shit I live twenty minutes from that "BIG JIMS BOOBY BUNGALOW" sign!!! I can confirm that yes, there used to be a big ole churchy-religion sign right above it!"

So there you have it folks. Its real. The billboards and their stupidity are 101% real.

The one with Jesus and the cat are definitely real. Cause Jesus loves cats; that's why they are granted nine lives.

 

Kate Zoe Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

My Food Adventures

ADVENTURE TIME,
COME ON GRAB YOUR FRIENDS
WE'RE GOING TO VERY DISTANT LANDS
WITH KATY KATY AND KATY KATY
THE FOOD NEVER ENDS
ADVENTURE TIMEEEE

I probably just brought shame and dishonor to my family for killing the lyrics to the theme song of one of the best tv shows on this side of the universe. (I also have an obsession for Criminal Minds, it's unhealthy)
Many people think Adventure Time creeps them out. Thats just weird. You creep me out.
And others say it's a dumb kids' show. That's just weird. You're dumb.

But aside from all that, back to the main post.

It's just going to be of all the food I have eaten and actually taken pictures of in my itouch.
So the cereal I ate this morning will not be included. Unless that is something you'd be interesting in seeing, then comment me and I will satisfy your strange cereal picture fetish.

I'll also caption the place I bought it (that is if I remember, most food get digested and pooped out and I forget about it) and who made it if it was homemade.

 This was one of those "just because" presents my mom usually brings home. It was goooood. 

Creamy coffee soaked angel cake layered between generous heapings of fresh whipped cream and a single coffee bean on top (can you see it??) all wrapped in delicated film on top of a thin foil dessert liner

they sell it by the slice at those asian 99 Ranch Market bakeries

 this I didnt eat, regrettably.
I was just taking pictures of asian bakery cakes

I love asian cakes, they're so moist and soft, not too sweet, not too bland and low on fat, high in protein

look at those shiny peaches, omg orgasm

 this is was a dish from a trip to Ojiya, a traditional Japanese sushi restaurant with my best friend and her family. I hate those wannabe white-washed sushi restaurants. freaking disgraces to society.

The tuna is seared on the outside, slightly revealing light pink, blush of meat on the inside when thinnly sliced.
There's this sweet, salty sauce poured over the meat and delicate slivers of radish whites placed on top, with a sprinkling of roasted garlic crumbles garnished over.

best sushi ever. hands down. mouth open. wow this is starting to sound wrong.

 I made this.
yes, I can cook & bake

This is a Portuguese style take on the traditional Hong Kong Egg Tarts. I went to San Francisco last week and the egg tarts in Downtown Chinatown were beautiful ecstasy in your mouth.

The custard is creamy from the heavy whipping cream and I paired it with the recipe for buttery, flaky pie crust made with genuine cream butter.

The result is pure unadulterated perfection.

 I made this too.
It was my lil' booger's 8th birthday and I decided to bake her my all-time favorite cake since I was little: TARO CAKE
 Dont judge me, she doesnt have a preferance for cake so I choose my favorite flavor and it was a surprise anyway.
 I know taro sounds like some kind of anime henti porn crap but it's this purple white looking root vegetable....yea it's weird
BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD trust me

try a slice of it, they sell it at asian bakeries, and yes by now you should know I'm asian, because most of the things I eat are werid and asian.

 This was the first time I had Chile's and it was ehh alright. It looks really appetizing though. This was with all my guy friends to celebrate the end of finals testing.

Cajun Chicken Alfredo with Garlic Bread.

 We had a calorie to see who could give themselves a heart attack first. My best friend came over before Thanksgiving break and we had pie and LOADS of fluffy white whipped cream.

Just thinking about made me pop another vein from fatty molecule build up.

This was from Costco.
My second home. Because they have free food, big sofas, and toilets. All I need to survive.

 I have Chinese School every damn Sunday so I'm always cramming my work in on Saturdays.

I made this. It's a sorry attempt for a crepe but it was pretty good.

that is all.

 OH SHIT BUCKETS

HOT DAMN DONKEY BALLS THIS WAS SO NASTY

Airplane food should be illegal for human comsumption, man, even goats wouldnt eat it, and goats eat everything. EVERYTHING. dont ask how I know. I just do...

But China Airlines food is even worse than normal airplane food. Oh gawd the awful memories....

 THE COBBLESTONE
 from Panera
is
amazinggggg.

The muffin part is moist and thick full of aromatic cinnamon and caramel flavors. The strusel inside is gooey and if you heat this baby up, you're life is complete. All of it drizzled over with a sweet confection of icing. utterly amazing.

 This is my all time favorite drink. The Red Bean Ice. You rarely find this in asian restaurants but it does exist. Personally I believe ABC Cafe in Montery Park, CA makes the ultimate best but that's only because it was a childhood thing for me, I used to go there once a week since I was 5 until I was 10 with my parents and I'd get the same thing for five fucking years. dedication man. Kim Kardashian should learn something about marraige dedication through my love of these drinks.

The fluffy shaved ice is supposed to be mixed in with sweetened condensed milk second in the layer along with the fresh heavy cream. And lastly on the bottom, the purple "red" beans all warm and beautifully perfect. *sighs* (it's okay, I'm straight, I have a crush for food but would never have sex with one, even if it sounds like I'm going to right now)

 I made these.
yes, yes I did.

They're chewy white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. wow thats a long ass name.

They're cookies, enough said.

 I made this too.

This was for our Algebra II class last year for the Pi Day celebration, the day where nerds and geeks like me rejoice and have wild parties late at night with their calculator and Pokemon collections. Yes, a naughty night indeed.

This is a peach and pear pie with lattice top and an entirely cream butter made crust, no shortening, so your arteries will blow off any second. and roasted pecans embedded under the lattice design. As a final touch, a light sprinkling of those big chucks of cane azucar.

 Here's another picture of the Pi

(you see what I did there?? hahhaha....yeaa)

 Carl's Jr. Bitchessssss!

BEHOLD THE BEAUTIFUL 6 DOLLA BURGER

...there I go calling food beautiful again

 Yea, as you have noticed I'm tired of commenting on all this food, cause well I eat everyday and I eat a lot and yea all food is good food. unless it's airplane "food", because airplane "food" is poison. and you can't eat poison.

This is a legit crepe from a legit French shop in the shopping plaza in Brea, CA
I ordered a nutella filled , banana sliced, chocolate drizzled, whipped cream covered crepe with a side of vanilla ice cream.

Once again, I've ordered too much for my greedy little rat hands to handle so two other friends also helped pitch in for a bite.

 I made this.
Homemade pizza, doesnt get better than that.
except homemade lasagna which I also make but I dont have a decent picture of one yet that doesnt look like red, brown, and white, shit. It's good, really good, but looks like...shit.

Anyways, this pizza is deep dish, with my favorite flavor, which is "EVERTHING" flavor. There's bell peppers, sausages, beef, tomatos, fresh mozzerella, sauce from scratch and mushrooms. perfection.

 Chipotle! The home to white wannabe mexican food and cheap people who get the water cup but get soda, like MEE! I've only done that once and I go there all the time so it's not a loss of profit for them but I sincerely feel bad.

Every time I go I get the same fucking items on the menu. Cause I'm just that fucking person.

I get the burrito or bowl to go with white rice, black beans, extra steak, mild salsa, corn, sour cream, extra cheese, and if I'm in a good mood then lettuce. otherwise no.

So according to this picture I must have been in a good mood. Or I was having constipation problems from my lack of vegetable diet and finally decided to do something about it.

 Another asian cake!

same 99 Ranch Market bakery.

 This was actually a picture sent to me by my best friend. (notice the difference of picture quality on her iphone compared to my crappy itouch camera??)

This was an apricot cheesecake looking pie from Coco's.

Looks good, except I didn't get any so therefore it's not good anymore.

 I barbecued. Yes, I can barbecue too.
I feel like I'm advertising myself for a housewife position or something.
"Yes, I can bake, cook, barbecue and wash your underwear. No, no sir I don't give head"


Anyways, we have beef dogs, pineapple chicken meatballs from Costco, some salsa I chopped up, and a huge ass steak that resembles a bird of some sort....

 SOUPLANTION! THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.

I really mean it when I say that because first of all, I don't really enoy Disneyland, so it's definitely not the happiest place on earth for me.
I got lost there when I was five. Fucking scariest thing in my life. The lines are unreasonably long, I almost suffocated in some woman's buttcheeks when people were squeezed together for a parade and the tickets are crazy expensive. I dont poop money! I poop Poop!

back to Souplantion, THEY HAVE ALL CAN EAT DELICIOUS SOUP. enough said.

This is a dish from my second favorite chinese restaurant called Ji Rong in Temple City, CA.

The walnut shrimp is not the fucking shit from Panda Express. Guys, Panda Express does not sell chinese food, that is not chinese food.

This is like food orgy. The combination of crisp lettuce piled high with ginormous sized shrimp that are delicately crispy on the outside and succulent on the inside. smmothered in creamy saucy and topped with maple coated, candied walnuts, slightly hot from their recent coating of confection.

And another picture from Chile's.

This was my best friend's plate of food. I stole some of it; it was good.

 Kate Zoe Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.